PART 2 - The Moments of 2017 I Most Felt Like the Kind of Person I Want to be

In Part 1 (linked here), I talked about a few of the tools I use to help keep memories alive, offer an opportunity for self-reflection and ultimately bring joy when I go back and review them. Spoiler alert - none of them had to do with the endless hours spent scrolling social media over the course of the year, but there were themes of the moments representing the kind of person I want to be. So here are a few of them in no particular order. 

1. Be the type of person who uses down time to better myself rather than entertain myself.

Making time at work to sit with the Sarah Kauss, CEO of Swell gave me language behind the type of leader I am, reading Mindset changed the way I think about parenting (and what I'm capable of), listening to Chasing Excellence has taught me just as much about my values as Greg Everett has taught me about snatching. If I'm going to be scrolling something online or be away from other important parts of my life, do it with a purpose to better myself & those who matter to me. Do it with intention. Do it to help achieve a bigger goal.  This is so big and so broad, but it's one of the most important for me. From creating a better relationship with God to being a better wife and mom, a better leader, all the way down to being a better exerciser or cook...the point is, it needs to be deliberate.

2. Be the type of person who has the ability find & recognize pure joy in the day to day.

Losing a bet to my husband & having to cook him spaghetti dinner, getting ice cream delivered to work, watching my son belly laugh from getting sprayed with a hose - those were some of the moments that gave me the biggest smiles looking back. There was nothing fancy about them. They didn't cost a lot of money or planning & could have gone unnoticed if I hadn't documented them. One of my favorite quotes from Option B by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant is

"Happiness is the joy you find on hundreds of forgettable Wednesdays."

I want to find more joy on more forgettable Wednesdays (and Mondays, and Fridays, and...) but it has to be a choice. You have to stop and look. You have to be open to receiving joy. I've started doing (much less than) daily gratitude journaling for the smallest things I'm thankful for. Sometimes, it's as small as pulling up to a parking meter with time still on it or someone in front of me holding a door way longer than they should just to be nice & other times it's much bigger. Either way, it makes me stop, notice & recognize and I believe it creates more happiness because those moments don't go unnoticed. When you're looking for them, you see them & when you see them, you appreciate them. When you appreciate them...that is JOY! You realize there's something to appreciate in Every. Single. Day. which leads to happiness.

3. Be the type of person who shows up, makes an effort & is more selfless than selfish. 

Figuring out backup arrangements for a big project at work to drive to Pittsburgh to say goodbye to an amazing woman, turning buying a pair of Crossfit shoes for a kid in need into fund raising enough for every kid in the program to get a new pair of shoes, calling or answering the phone even if I don't feel like talking. Some things are big and some are small, but this one is one of the hardest (but most important). It's about putting others before myself. If this entire post is about the type of person I want to be then that in and of itself seems selfish, but it's because I think I can give more, I can find the gifts God has given me that I should magnify if I live this way.

It's tough because it's so easy to make excuses. I wake up early so I'm tired at night. I talk and think all day & really I'm a huge introvert so I need down time at night. We run all week so on the weekend I just want to relax. There are a million excuses, but if this is the type of person I want to be then they won't get in the way. It just needs to be a choice.

4. Be the type of person who builds relationships through talking, being, doing & spending quality time together.

Family dinners every night together around the table, spending Thanksgiving on the porch of our cabin in Tennessee talking for hours with the fam, girls trips away to be and do and laugh together (especially cousin Balky ;), cooking homemade pizzas with the boys, spending Mother's Day walking around the city & playing at all of the parks, solo travel to Paris, amusement park visit for my mom's bday, family golf days, Bonnybrook Farms - all of these are different, but each has helped to build a relationship with others or myself.  

The thing I need to differently here is be more open to these moments, plan more of them & participate in more. Jimmy says I create "forced fun" which is basically planned fun...it's true, but at the end it always ends up being fun...so I'll keep doing it!

5. Be the type of person who creates the kind of world I want to live in.

This is a big one. HUGE. But I can do small things to help make progress towards it. Talk to others who disagree with me with the intent of listening & learning. Understand what about their context or point of view is different from mine. So, the small things are listening and talking while being open to a different point of view. It's also searching for it. Our minds don't change if we're only looking to confirm what we've already thought to be true. Look for the opposite truth...what is the truth of someone who disagrees with you? In that truth you may find a new definition of truth...if you're open to receiving it.

The smaller aspects of this to me are about being a maker. If I want Santi to be creative then we have to make Minecraft toys out of Nike shoe boxes or make a lego table together out of an old broken end table instead of buying them. If health & nutrition are important then we cook together when we can, I meal prep, we get off of the couch on a Saturday to create an obstacle course in the living room instead of watching another episode of {insert Nickelodeon show here}. If self growth & reflection is important to me I need to write and say things out loud to hold myself accountable. Interesting things happen when you say things outloud, but that's a topic for a whole new post.

So, I guess that about sums it up. I've reflected on 2017 through pictures, videos, moments & stories to summarize them down to 5 points representing the type of person I want to be. It seems quite daunting to think about the magnitude of each one of these, but if I had to sum them up, I'd say I want to be the type of person who lives an intentional life because I was given a second chance to do so. Everything I've categorized above is a summary of what I did last year making me feel as though I've made progress toward that goal (before I really knew I had it).

I already have a few plans in place to make more progress towards that goal and those values, because we all know you can't make progress without a plan. What are you hoping to make progress towards in 2018?

-k