Just. Go. On. The anti-bullying song

Just the other day we were casually talking about bullying & unkind acts in school. Not a full on obvious discussion about intense bullying, but I was asking probing questions. Do you ever see anyone sitting alone at lunch? Have you ever seen a friend get picked on? Has anyone at school ever made you feel bad or sad? S proceeded to tell me about a boy who made fun of his ponytail.

You see, one day S came home from school and declared, “I want to donate my hair so I can help people.” God bless his kind heart. Wanting to jump & scream & yell, “parenting win!!!” I held back tears & told him how proud I am of him. How kind he is. I told him how he is going to make a difference for another person going through a tough time.

Then we talked about man buns & googled pictures of soccer players with them. We talked about what designs he could shave into the lower half of his head & how long it would take to achieve man bun status.

In that moment it was decided. He would have a man bun. But man buns don’t appear upon declaration. There’s no app for that. You can’t go to your stylist and ask for the man bun cut…as he may have done. It takes time. And you have to go through many awkward-man bun-development phases prior to achieving desired man bun status.

Through the beginning of an awkward phase, my fiercely independent son who dresses, laughs, walks & plays how he wants decided he was going to commence the man bun growing with a ponytail. Except the ponytail wasn’t quite a ponytail. It was a small gathering of a few hairs long enough to get a hair tie around on the top back part of his head. He saw no issue with this. I on the other hand, ahem - I saw it as an opportunity to be supportive no matter what.

And a kid made fun of him.

For a few days.

“You have a ponytail. You have a ponytail. Ewww why do you have a ponytail?”

The Mama bear in me was crushed & furious. The Mama bear in me also had to arm her son with a kind, but brave response. So I told him - someone can’t make fun of you if you point out the obvious. I told him to say, “Duh. I have a ponytail.” If you see the kid, tell him, “Hey. Guess what? I still have a ponytail.”

Now, this was hardly a traumatic experience for S. It wasn’t bullying. It didn’t go on and on and on. It was just unkind & wasn’t the way I would ever want my son to treat someone else. The only two things I’m sure of are - it’s the last glimpse into someone being mean to my S I ever want to see. And it won’t be.

Fast forward a few weeks later, Grandpap & Grandma get S a guitar for his birthday.

Before he ever took a lesson, he wrote an anti-bullying song. God, I don’t know what I did to deserve this kid. He was kind. He was brave & he stifled a spark instead of fueling it. I wish I could be more like him.

Today, Wednesday 10/24/18 is National Unity Day. If you didn’t know, there’s a day where we’re all supposed to stand together & be one. We’re not supposed to hurt each other. We should be kind and caring & inclusive of others. On this day we wear orange. Today I’ll send my 1st grader to school in orange with hopes that one day there is no day of unity & no orange shirt. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we didn’t need an inclusion day?

What if the rest of the world saw things the way kids do? What if we took a lesson from them? I think we’d see differences and appreciate them. I think we’d feel comfortable in our 1” half kept ponytails. I think we’d all be better off. I think the world would be a better place. And I think Unity Day would only be known as “Wednesday”.

Until then - here’s the little ditty S wrote to help spread his message of kindness & acceptance no matter what. In the words of the artist, “Have fun. Share it with a couple people…Just go on.”